Costa Rica has been a breath of fresh air. With 25% of the country being protected national parks and it holding a staggering 5% of the world’s biodiversity, the air, scientifically speaking really is, more fresh here.
To date Costa Rica has 28 national parks, 58 wildlife refuges, 32 protected zones, 15 wetland areas/mangroves, 11 forest reserves and 8 biological reserves, as well as 12 other conservation regions that protect the distinctive and diverse natural habitats found throughout the country.
Of all the places I have lived across the globe, Costa Rica is by far the most clean and green. The ratio of trees to humans is the way it should be, nature is Queen and our species is merely an addition to Her Majesty and greatness. I don’t see people fighting against forests, but working with them. Creating these wonderful conscious living communities, eco lodges, and permaculture farms all around me. As it should be, human beings are just another part of nature, not superior.
The way of life here is grounded in both rainforests and “pura vida”, translated to pure life.
Used in place of “hellos”, “goodbyes”, “thank yous”, “no worries”, “see you again”. It can be used as a proclamation of excitement for great surf or a lazy woman swinging in a hammock on a hot afternoon. The notion has become familiar to me and soothes me everytime I hear it. With the days that pass I remind myself to also say “pura vida” as much as possible. I think I am a little obsessed, but hell, pura vida baby! It reminds me to slow down. It’s a pause on a sunny day, like hey, life’s good, it’s beautiful, and it’s time to seize the wonderful fucking life that is in front of you.
The Tico’s (locals of Costa Rica) have really nailed the manifestation of what it means to live purely. I don’t know if it’s because they’re all high on Cacao or because they are truly blessed with the most beautiful biodiversity I have ever set my eyes on, but there is a sense of calm in the air. That the kind of life we all envision for ourselves, something beautiful and true, and pure, can actually exist. Does. And the locals know it.
From my years living abroad and experiencing such a myriad of cultures, the thing I know for sure? Americans are in such a rush. Always looking at what’s next, what’s around the corner, and living so much in the future tense, they tend to forget to live in the present. We’re seeking something, trying to find that “vida”, that life we think we’ll get if we just work harder, longer, buy more stuff, fill our houses with things and bits and bobs of nonsense crap. We aren’t content with sameness for long. We aren’t content with the now. So much so that that “now” moves by so fast and next thing we know we’ve missed it all. Missed years of our lives in hopes of a different life.
Our habit and our conditioning is to want life to be different.
That most moments feel uneasy to us. And rather than presence, we are waiting for the next moment to contain “what this moment does not.” Because life feels scary and uncertain.
Especially right now. 2020 really did a number on our psyches and nervous systems. Fear, fear, fear. OH, did I mention fear?
Think: finances, fears for our bodies, fear for other people’s bodies, relationship conflicts. It’s never ending.
So it really doesn’t feel so easy to just “be present,” when there’s so much happening around us in both our personal lives and on a societal level, constantly. I get it. Off my soapbox I digress.
So how do we find that refuge? How do we heal that ongoing wound of uncertainty? How do we find vida? How do we live life more like the Tico’s?
When we’re all just trying to ... survive.
For me, showing my parents the pure, slow life in Costa Rica has been that refuge. Having breakfast at noon, lounging around, and real quality time. It’s a gift really, to be reminded what it feels like to “be present”. And not getting sucked into a social media/news trance. Which one is even which these days?
To most of us, that refuge means doing more, being busy, and drowning in a to-do list to block out the noise. That’s what we really, really, REALLY want to do. And do, do, to forget it all. That’s not finding presence, that’s distracting ourselves from it. It’s more like the small things that make you forget the next moment. Such as watching the clouds pass, reading a book, or going on a walk. Simple stuff that remind your heart you’re here, you’re alive, and you’re probably going to survive a lot longer than you think.
So,
How do you seek that refuge?
How do you really, just for a minute, find that presence?
For one man we met along our journey, his refuge was charming and warm. This hipster Santa doppelgänger was the embodiment of pure happiness and presence and I want to tell you about him. And about how his refuge inspired me.
After a 6 hour car ride through the jungle of Costa Rica, in pouring rain, down dirt road switchbacks, and Indiana Jones style bridges, we arrived to “Casa Pepe”.
Pepe came out of the house like he was literally on fire. Throwing his hands in the air looking at our family of four.
“Dios MÍO!”, he proclaimed over and over and over again. “My God! My God!” He started speaking rapid fire Spanish, I picked up bits and pieces, but mostly none. Thankfully Travis speaks spanish and translated Pepe’s many great attempts at hitting on my mom and I. He was one of bookmark old man creeps, the kind you can’t get mad at for being a creep because you could actually break their frail, old, arm if they tried to touch you.
He started walking us around the property that was dressed with massive fish tanks, dogs, so many dogs, and a fresh litter of puppies. Pepe was in no rush. He then showed us the tap water, which came from a mountain spring. Because we had just drove through a tropical storm, we weren’t surprised when the water was mud brown. He didn’t seem phased. You know the phrase, “what doesn’t kill you make you stronger.” ? It was originated by Pepe in the late 80’s.
He finally shows us the room. We’re all exhausted. We walk in, one bed. I’m looking in the closet and the bathroom for a hidden second room. That’s when the “Dios MÍO” hit. One bed? Rapid fire spanish, all I catch is “quatro” a bunch of times, “no, no, no, no, no’s”, and “entiendi dos.” It’s dark, we just drove through jurassic park to get here. Now what? My parents and my boyfriend all in one room, I would rather die probably, yeah, definitely.
Pepe explains his son who runs the Airbnb bookings, only told him there were two people coming. Not four.
“Pura Vida!” He walks out, we follow, very confused. We walk down the dark path to another door, he opens it, and there an empty room with another bed. My fears of having to share a bedroom with my parents dissipate and smiles all around.
“Shhhh, Shhhh.” He says, wiggling his finger in front of his plump face. Smiling. Laughing. “Dios MÍO! Mi hijo! Mi hijo!” My God! My son! My son! I ask Pepe if he’s married or has a girlfriend. More laughter. “NOOO! Solo yo y mis perros.” Nooo! Only me and my dogs. He leaves and comes back with a big bottle of lemon water for us in place of the muddy tap water, he says by morning it will be palatable again. Pura vida.
I love him. I love everything about him. The ease and vibrancy. The sweet and spicy. The bold and calm. He’s a mix of it all, but more than anything he reminds me of what it’s like to live a life you are completely happy and content in living. A life that sees the problems and goes with it. That when issues are presented, instead of fighting the current, flows with them. In life we tend to overthink, over analyse, and dramatically fight against the current. When really, swimming with it is the only option in the vast ocean of our lives.
Bitching about our jobs, but not actually leaving them is a form of fighting it, not flowing with it. The universe clearly saying, “Hey man, I’m making this miserable for you because it’s not meant for you. Quit.” Yet, we ignore it because of fear. So we stay, we complain, we moan, and the next morning we do it all over again.
Complaining about a relationship, but not setting boundaries or communicating needs is a form of fighting it, not flowing with it. That instead of being vulnerable and courageous in discussing our needs or breaking up with someone that isn’t right for us. We ignore the signs and let the daily arguments run us into the ground with resentment. Wave after wave after wave.
It feels impossible to live in the moment, be present, when things like our jobs and relationships cause us stress. Yet, we do almost nothing to take agency over the main aspects of our lives where we spend the majority of our time. By not adjusting to the situations, we are actively fighting against what is boldly in front of us. I am not saying that struggle will not arise, of course it will, it’s life. What I am saying, is that in order to find vida, find pura vida. There has got to be a mix of both presence, ease, and discomfort.
When things are not working for us, we believe we must constantly distract ourselves from the bigger picture. Making mountains out of molehills. Instead of gracefully facing the issues head on and working to solve them, such as Pepe did.
I noticed the progression of my mom over the 10 days. In the beginning asking “So, what’s next?! What is the plan for the day?” Everyday, “Mom, relax, we’ll go to the beach soon.” By day 5 she eased and instead of asking the plan, distracting herself with projects and chatter, laid in the hammock sipping coffee until we were all ready to go. My dad, no longer distracting himself from quiet moments with world news, but body surfing with me at the beach and hiking 5+ miles to hidden waterfalls. And it’s not that they don’t have the time or access to do these things back home, so what was it? Why now?
They stopped fighting against the current. They stopped trying to make a mountain out of a molehill. They stopped trying to make a life out of a fictional idea of what what life was “suppose to” look like. Out of comparison or fear. They simply, stopped doing more. Stopped looking for constant distractions. Did less and damn right enjoyed themselves.
The minute you stop fighting against your life, is the moment your life begins.
The minute you stop seeking what this moment does not, is the moment your life begins.
The minute you realize that there is no amount of materialistic objects that will bring happiness, that there will always be something newer, shinier, fancier, is the moment your life begins.
The minute you stop using distractions as a means to escape from reality, is the moment your life beings.
Finding a refuge in less, will ultimately lead to more. A more abundant life in love, and quality time spent with others. Using that intercontinental influence of other cultures on what it means to live, Costa Rica demonstrates so beautifully by allowing more National Parks than Mega Malls. Meanwhile, the conditioning of the American life, or any westernized civilization, is that the more you do, have, and have to show for yourself, the better your life will be. The twisted concept that scoring an office in a cement skyscraper and spending thousands of dollars to vacation in nature is the way it is. Spending thousands of dollars on flights is the only way to access a National Park all so you can go on a hike with your family, is a “victory”.
My new friend Pepe inspired me to reexamine and check-in with such fallacies. He reminded me that healing the wound of uncertainty happens when we stop running from life’s uncertainties, but face them. Finding vida by stepping outside, getting lost in a rainstorm, barely making it to the destination before nightfall, and laughing about it. Pura Vida.
Take more time to pause. Take more time to enjoy life now, not now is in tomorrow now, but literally, this very second. Now.